Saturday, December 10, 2011

Gender Insanity

Hey, BS here,

Been kind of empty in here as of kate, and I've had thoughts stirring in my head, so here we go.

Our middle child is exhibiting signs of possibly be transgender. He has a strong preference for anything that fits a female role - toys, clothes, activities. When he is given a choice, he always picks clothes that are purple, pink, and/or frilly. This is not something he really sees from either Kooky or myself, because we tend to dress in darker colors, in jeans and t-shirts or gothic tops. In fact, most of MY shirts are t-shirts and hoodies. He has all brothers, so he's not picking this up off of hem, and he has one f cousin he sees maybe twice a year who doesn't even go for pinks or purples or frilly clothes. So there's not much chance that he's emulating something he's seen us do.

Now, we've been pretty accepting of this, and let him pick which clothes he wants to wear or which toys he wanted to play with. We figure if he is TG, then we'll deal with it down the line, and if he's not than it's just a phase. So we try not to encourage gender roles in one direction or the other.

I also try to shield him from my feelings on being born in the wrong body, whether that be by bad mouthing my penis or letting him see me tuck. However, while potty training he's realized that his maman has a penis, and momy has a vulva. I don't see a problem with this, I think it's healthy for him to realize that girls can be different. So, imagine my surprise when I'm helping him change under and he looks at me, then points at his penis and says "yuck. Yucky." I just replied and said "oh really?" That was a few weeks ago, but he's done it again at least twice with me since then.

I worry, because that's one of the major signs of childhood GID. It's possible his is all a phase, or that he's just picking up things he's observed and repeating them, but we try to shield him from my body issues, as I said. We will continue to monitor the situation, but this all feels so familiar to me. There may be child psychs in his future, but only if it becomes necessary. If he is GID and wants to transition, then we'll let him. If not, that's good too. We love him for who he is, whatever that may be.

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