Monday, March 5, 2012

Falling into Poly, and the Lemonade gets sweeter

It's been a while since my last post, life has taken some interesting twists since then.  Our friends (L and B) who moved in with us were aware of our poly feelings (though lack of any ongoing poly relationships) and had expressed that they were intrigued but felt too likely to be jealous to be poly themselves.  Somehow over the course of the first month they spent here with us many of their concerns melted away and they found themselves open to poly themselves, it seems they were developing feelings for BS and I.  They spend much of the day with BS while I am working and have developed a very close and complex relationship with her, Poly just seemed the next logical step and they all took that leap about two weeks ago.  Their entry into a full on Poly relationship was a bit rocky due to miscommunication mainly between BS and I and things have been tense, though still good, here since.  We have worked out many things over the past two weeks and things are just continuing to look up.

Part of the miscommunication in the entire situation was the fact that I was still assuming that L and B felt they 'could not' do poly due to their own tendencies towards jealousy.  So I was (blissfully?) unaware of any developments otherwise because in a position where I have been told someone is not interested and there may be the possibility of disrupting their current close relationships I refuse to take any action that may cause issues.  So I was operating on what I had been told with the jealousy factor and refusing to see any possible advances because I did not want to cause any jealousy.  They have since discussed with me that they feel they are working past the jealousy issue and they are interested in a poly relationship not just with BS but with me as well.  This came as a shock to me so between my apparent obliviousness and my general lack of time with the other adults in the house due to being the only one who works days I am taking it generally easy and just seeing where a natural relationship progression might lead me.  BS had a month and a half of close daily contact to develop the relationship they have so I feel that a couple of months of development on my part to reach the same point with my limited time capacity is probably not stretching things too much. 

On to the factor that is bound to come up in the minds of anyone following here.  The kids, as far as the kids are concerned we all live together, we all care about each other, all the adults are in charge.  With both families bed-sharing that means that bed rooms are off limits for any "intimate" time.  No matter, there are other rooms in the house and typically we end up cuddling on the couch with things possibly or possibly not progressing from there on any given night when more than one adult is home and awake.  We do not currently have any concerns about being 'walked in on' but should that become a concern our TV area is set up in what is technically a bedroom in the house and the door can be shut and locked to prevent any accidental issues with the children. 

The Kooky family: Myself, BS, OC, MC, YC now plus the semi-extended kookiness of L, B, mini L, and little R.

Friday, January 27, 2012

When life doles out Lemons ...

Life in 2011 was so hard for so many people.  In addition to the typical economy worries and the stresses that come with a new baby we also had the complications of BS beginning transition and everything involved in that.  This, needless to say, increased our financial strain as well as our time strain (with therapist appointments, etc).  Some close friends of ours also had serious concerns in 2011.  He lost his job and she has been a stay at home mom since their oldest (nearly 3) was born.  Despite doing everything in his power for months he was unable to find a job.  We discussed things and with me working from home and BS's schedule being what it is we needed additional child care assistance.  We then arranged for our friends to move into our spare room with their children (they are also a bed sharing family just like we are) and exchange child care assistance for housing until they can get back on their feet. 

Our friends moved in about a week ago.  We now have a very full house, with 4 adults and 5 children, but it is more fun and functional than ever.  There is always an adult around to handle any situation that may arise with the children, we all parent so similarly that there haven't been any issues with us helping out with each other's kids, and both sets of children are improving social skills by having more "siblings" to have to work things out with.  This is what I imagine tribal living would be like, and personally, I like it.  During this transition period every adult (and half of the children) in the house has gotten sick.  However, rather than having the entire house fall apart and children being (somewhat) neglected while a parent tries to handle everything basically alone we now have support from more sides and things get done, even if only on a minimal level. 

So, take two families relatively down on their luck.  Mix them together, throw in some hard work and some patience, and you get one small tribe, still somewhat down on their luck, but with somehow much less stress.  Lemonade can be made from even the sourest of lemons, but sometimes it takes creative thinking and hard work.  We plan on our first joint outing and pagan rituals this weekend and I expect some odd quirks but for everything to come out relatively awesome.  Welcome to the Kooky Household, where things just keep getting Kookier.